POLITICIANS AND PRIESTS

Priests and Politicians

Priests and Politicians (abbreviated as P&P hereafter only for convenience. It is not intended to elongate the pronunciation of P) are the most colorful and visible people among us. They have many things in common. They are two sides of the same coin named rigid establishment. Their hidden agenda is to keep the people as they are. However they talk only about changing the conditions of people. If the people change attitudes, then P&P go out of business. People can get educated, become rich strong etc. But they should not get rid of the fear about death and greed for better life. Priests squat on fear of death. Politicians squat on greed to live better. That is the only difference.  

We are told that these priests represent God and have dedicated their lives to act as a post office between people and God. People's complaints and desires are to be transmitted to God as and when God is available and blessings and curses if any as received would be passed back to the people. People are busy and hence may not access God at his convenient time. Even the president of a small country is terribly busy and do not have time to listen to the common people. So imagine how busy God would be. So the priests have voluntarily taken up that self less service of communicating with God on behalf of the people.

Are these priests deputed by God to do this posturing? No incriminating evidence is available except that the priests all over the world irrespective of religions and nationality are unhappy about such inconvenient questions. To seal such truant queries, the priests admonish the people that the God himself will get angry for such over-smartness. Normal people get scared and behave as directed by the priest to obviate the chances of making the God angry on top of their own worries (existing and to be acquired).

The priests can survive only if people are fearful about something. Death and misery are the ones they are normally afraid of. In fact the priests themselves are very much afraid of the same ! But the trick of the priest is to hide that fear within, put up a brave face and behave normally to the public as if he is not afraid like them. At the same time he consciously creates and promotes fear among the people; by reminding them of the impending death and the miseries being undergone by many; to an extent that he himself does not become fearful.

Firstly the priest defines God according to his understanding and convenience. God is the creator of this universe. God watches the created universe and people whether they dress properly, behave, praise the creator (for taking the trouble), and pray for blessings. The priests imagine that good people are saved by God and admitted to heaven after death and the bad ones are kicked out (by the assistants) into the hell fire. To escape the hell fire, some rituals known only to the priests have to be followed.

The trap is thus ready. Fearful people have to just sway in!

Now who / what is good and bad is decided by the priest by leaning on to a God concept imagined by the priests themselves ! That is how it should be for the sustenance and survival of the priests! If the people start deciding what is good for them, then what is the need of the priests? Priests become surplus staff waiting for redeployment.

As God is understandably and reportedly above sex, the priests in their wisdom assume that those who engage in sex are actually sinning before God who can see everything in day light. The trick to catch people’s psyche is to deny something that they naturally require. Therefore the priest comes out with his first rule.

Rule 1: “Sex is sin”!

As people do need / naturally like sex, this rule goes for a toss at the very outset. People want sex whether it is sin or not. Otherwise how do they make babies? They have been doing it for ages innocently and for fun like animals without any senses of guilt whatsoever or any divine interference and suddenly the priests has discovered that sex is a sin ! Even if it is a sin, people are prepared for the penalty. Still they can’t leave sex. Life without sex is like porridge without salt ! People get ready to jump into some other religion which is more flexible and condones sex !

Now the priests are forced to modify their own original rule so as to keep the followers. So the priests relent and agree to people having sex for making babies but only after getting married and only in missionary position (man on top). Further they have to confess to (the sex starved) priests of any deviation (in explicit details) and pay penalty per deviation!

Rule 2: Sex between married partners is not sin if done in missionary position only for making babies.

Peace !

But not for long. The priests realise that even though people do sex in the missionary position after getting married, they get bored doing it over and over with the same partner and the same routines ! Even the priests know that the best ice cream becomes boring on everyday use ! They don’t mind trying  more positions and fresh partners for a refreshing change !

Now the priest cannot allow people switching partners like changing the clothes. If he could allow that, then he would not have become a priest in the first place ! It would have been more fun being with the people rather than becoming a fun killer priest jackass! So varieties and different positions with the same partner are grudgingly allowed by the already jealous priests cursing in private their own decision to become priests!

Now the priests actually wonder what they are doing and what they should have been doing. Are they there to oversee how people make love? If the priests are not there what is the problem? They cannot but modify their original rule as :

Rule 3: Married people may do sex in various positions.

Peace again !

Not for long ! Now the people get bored with various positions too. Only fresh partners can keep the fun going! No one really remembers the original ‘sin’ theory of the priests except the priests. They cannot declare that sex is natural and fun, in which case the priests have no control over the sex life of people. People would do sex without the permission of the priests. Further the priests have banned themselves from sex life in the first place imagining that people would treat them as heroes for posturing as bravely abstaining from sex.

The priests only know their difficulty to deal with women especially the swinging curvy types ! But they can’t say what they really feel because they have assumed themselves to be positioned above. What a mess ! That is why the exclamation  “Oh My God !” comes a bit too often from the priests when the females are present ! Females know this but they keep quiet. If they are allowed to speak on their sexual experiences, especially from the banned quarters, the whole town may go under cover. Forget the poor priests. Most males want to have fun with most females, if so allowed. Only the jealous males are cribbing.

Now people are in two sides. Those who are happy with one partner stand for single partner married life. Other adventures are sin ! Those who are more adventurous retort that married life is boring and lifeless! The priests are caught in the web spun by themselves. If the priests could allow free sex with willing partners, then the priests would not have become what they are in the first place ! As they were failures in the subject or rejected by the females, they had unwillingly become priests. They were not good for anything else ! Now there is no going back.

So the priests further modify the rule to placate the majority with the only view to retain them.

Rule 4: “Adultery is sin !”

See the progression. Originally ‘sex was sin’. Then Sex among married people was exempted provided they stuck to the prescribed missionary position. Then various positions were allowed among married people. And now sex is not a sin anymore. Only adultery is.

Most sullen males decide to follow family life and single partner even if boring as the competition outside was too hot to handle! Daring males go ahead and do the variety behind the backs or under cover and giggle behind the family people and the priests. The priests scare them with the ‘Devil’ theory that it is the devil that lured them into adultery and penalize them for the sin committed. They pay and continue the sin whistling all the way! Even if there is penalty, it is fun, mate!

Now as there was no trace of any divine punishment as warned by the priests, sensible women would not mind trying the variety themselves too! This is not acceptable to the jealous males. They object and become more religious anticipating that the ‘lucky’ variety types are actually sinning as the priests said and would be definitely punished by God. Females do not care these weaklings who are even otherwise practically useless !

Indiscipline and restlessness in the ranks ! Daring males are giggling and paying the penalty to the priests as they found nothing wrong in variety. Females are joining the variety party! Priests try to scare the males. Nothing doing! Variety is better than no variety even with penalty! Now the priests have no option than scaring the females! So the priests further modify the rule as;

Rule 5: “Female adultery is more sinful than male adultery !”

Now everyone knows there is no logic in this biased rule. Besides this is human rights violation ! But females know that the priests are none other than weak jealous males.  Being self respecting, women curse the priests for their fate having got stuck with pot bellied lazybones damp squibs blessed by damper ones! Slam bam thank you ma’m…snore !

Still they may at least think of the variety. A man with packs is at least better looking and more energetic than the wobbling biogas filled potbellies! The jealous males cannot provide her what she wants and will not allow her to get it from where available ! They complain to the priests about her indifference. If not made fearful, she might just do it with the better males or at least fantasize about them while doing it with the allotted partner ! Now the priests further modify their rule with the only purpose to contain the unhappy females who got stuck with the weak jealous males.

Rule 6: “Thinking about others than the husband is sin!”

Further the priests make a rule that the sinners have to disclose the sinning details in private to the priests in explicit details! Now even if the woman have thought about a film star, it is a sin ! The priests get all information about the sins through mandatory confessions. The priests assure that the information through confessions would not be misused under any circumstances.

But many priests have slipped over the incoming information and black mailed the victim. The rational question is why do the priests insist on confessions about sex life? This is another form of pornography.

Finally, two people of different religions falling in love is the biggest problem for both religions in general and the priests in particular! Loving is allowed only within the religion ! Hating other religions on the other hand is interestingly an acceptable sign of loyalty. And all religions preach love, with the caveat that the love is to be limited within the religion !

Now don’t condemn the priests. They were as human as everyone else was. Only that they pretend to be above people where as in reality they are not. They tried to make a dam against the raging river with sand. That is all. Instead of banning sex as sin in the first place they should have studied what sex is and accepted it as a natural phenomenon. Then they would know that sex can not and need not be controlled by rules but is to be transcended to be acceptable to God.

By trying to clamp sex with rules, everyone involved (including the priests) go in circles and never get over it. Please note that it is not the sex itself that is the problem but simply the attitude towards it. Take it as natural as it is and one can get over it slowly and steadily ether through family life or by self control without exerting oneself against it. Looking down upon sex in public may be stylish but might drag one deep into it when no one is around. You can cheat someone else but not yourself !

What is wrong in having an apple and say this apple is tasty and good for health rather than imagining some non-existent cooked up problem on eating it?

This is how the priests operate. The people do not really need them. But the priests impose themselves on the people and play havoc with their natural ways. No one really knows why the priests do this unnecessary posturing and circus. The priests know nothing else for a living but still think they are better than the people or that people have to be controlled.

Let’s now see how the Politicians work.

They can not become significant without the people getting greedy. They play with poor people’s sentiments on becoming rich. They make poor people feel miserable about their poverty and feel jealous about the rich. They assure the poor that the poor can become rich too if he is made their leader. The poor may or may not trust the politician. But they have no other option. The rich will not part with the amassed riches. And the poor want to be rich. So the poor votes for the politician who is as poor as themselves in the beginning with a tacit understanding that the politician once in the office would bridge the rich-poor divide.

Once elected, the politician meets the rich and realizes the comforts and conveniences richness can bring. So he transforms into pro rich from pro poor. Now the politician play as a double agent; show the poor voters that he is with them. But he has actually shifted loyalty to the rich ! He can not simply do anything against the rich. The rich will not allow all people to become rich like them because the services can be purchased only from those who do not have money. So how can he make the poor also rich? It is not possible.

Politicians of different countries play different tricks to keep the people think along with them. If there is a dispute with some other country, the politicians might add fuel to put both countries into distrust and bring them close to war. This would enable the governments to buy missiles and arms (that would never be used in all possibility) at undisclosed inflated prices. As the purchase details of defence machinery cannot be disclosed as the enemy may make use of the information, the payment is done confidentially. Most arm deals have huge commissions.

Like the priests appear in public with escort, the politicians appear in public surrounded by black cat commandos. These 'leaders' actually do not need any security. No one really bothers them without the escort ! The commandos are actually for the show to get noticed ! The politician has to keep his 'image' in the minds of the people. If the people see the style and power of the politician in company of the commandos the voters might get impressed and hopefully vote for them again.

The politicians take particular care to smile in public like the priests or at least keep the face in such a way that looks like a smile. Plastic surgery is available to achieve this practically difficult exercise especially when facing those who are not in favour. But that is only in public. In private they are very serious and calculating. Their only field of activity is the people. To keep people in good humour is their job and liability. Otherwise people might jump to the other options.

It may not be able to keep the people happy at all times. People are happier with the entertainers like actors dancers and singers than with politicians and priests. Given a chance people may not depend on the politician or the priests for entertainment and stress free life. They would watch the entertainers for a change and sleep better ! This is scary prospect for the P&P. So rules are made so that jumping the political party or the religion is difficult.

Like Abhiskek Bachchan says. What an idea sirji !

Actually the people have no time to watch these politicians move in a cavalcade. People are busy about their daily life. If the politician walks all alone in ordinary clothes, most people would fail to even recognize him and even if recognized no one may give him a more than a glance ! People have seen far better looking and cheerful youngsters all around and hence who bothers about a gas chamber wobbling pot belly dancing around? In fact it makes sense to keep a safe distance away from pot bellies. The bio-gas can leak from top or bottom vents without notice with very little provocation like bumping into something or someone!

The politician knows this apparent indifference of the ungrateful public for whom only he had dedicated his precious life. So some how he needs to prop up his ego. Otherwise he is not 'visible' in public life. So the commandos, the sirens, escorts and all those paraphernalia, light, action and noise are actually for propping up the politician’s sagging image.

Similarly the priests. But the priests are better equipped than the politicians to deal with the indifference of the followers. If the people are indifferent to the politician the politician can do very little like whipping up some scary possibility. Priests need not do even that to keep the followers. It is a more permanent membership than to the political party. Once you are administered into religions which happen early in life before the infant can ask why, to get out of the religion and the rituals is practically impossible. The minds get conditioned beyond repair.

Politicians talk about equality of people and on the necessity of bridging the status difference between the poor and rich and the measures taken by them towards it. To be fair, they do take inadequate measures. If the rich-poor gap is not there then would the poor work for the rich? There is fun in being rich having money to buy the pleasures. What is the fun in everyone becoming enlightened middle class?

So the politician’s loyalty is with the rich and sympathy is with the poor even though they become leaders on the support of the poor. Thus this is a tricky game. The poor needs to believe that the leader works for the poor. The politicians end up ensuring that the rich remain rich !

Richness is their target. Agitations and processions are their methods. The declared purpose is to reduce the rich-poor divide. However the more the politicians try to bridge the gap between rich and poor, the more the rich become richer. The poor would become slightly better, for sure. But the rich becomes far more richer and thus more distant from the poor. The politicians would still assure the people that the gap is to be bridged. He cannot bridge it. He himself has become rich now !  This is the irony of the political circus.

The priests have similar agenda and methods. The God is their target. Religion and rituals are their methods. The declared purpose is to guide people in the right way. The right way is decided by the priests which turns out to be simply the most convenient practical way for the priests themselves! The end result is that the priests are always seen sitting on the heads of the followers just like the politicians sit on the heads of the voters. Those who allowed them to sit on your heads, may carry them !